WHEN I FINALLY LET LIFE CATCH UP WITH ME
It’s funny how sometimes getting exactly what we want shows us that this isn’t what we wanted at all. 2 months ago, all I wanted was a break, and now that couldn’t be farther from the truth.
The other night I was out at dinner with two of my closest friends and for months we had talked about planning a mini vacation, but we were all so busy we never took the time to plan it. Fast forward 6 months we had brought up the idea again while we were at dinner. They pull out their phones to look to see what weekends in February they were free. They asked me what weekends I was free and I showed them my completely blank calendar. In the moment it’s funny but looking back it was a hard reality check. In my defense, the reason I haven’t planned anything was because I had surgery about a month ago and I wasn’t sure how long my recovery would be, but it made me wonder if that was the real reason behind it. I will admit part of the reason I had not planned anything was I wanted a true break from reality.
After being in school for 4.5 years and working the entire time, I felt burnt out. All I wanted was to sit around and rot in bed, but for some reason I felt guilty for feeling that way. Part of me was relieved that I had to have surgery because it was the perfect excuse to take a break. I didn’t have class and I couldn’t work, and for the first few days it was great. As days passed, I began to miss the chaotic life I lived 2 months before. I realized that I was so focused on graduating and crossing another bullet point off my list that I spent all that time living in the upcoming future rather than living in the moment.
I hate saying that I have regrets because I wouldn’t be where I am or who I am without all of the experiences I’ve had, good or bad. I do, however, wish sometimes I would slow down and live more in the present. I think one of the only ways to do that is to have a true break from reality every now or then. Whether that’s taking a trip with your friends or simply trying a new coffee shop on your way to work. I know I am probably the last person to take advice from because if you know me you know I do everything at a speed of 100 miles a minute (especially when I wake up late for work) but coming from someone who’s been forced to take a break the past few weeks, I couldn’t be more grateful for the reality kick.
I think a lot of us in our 20’s are naïve in thinking that we have all the time in the world, but in reality, we don’t. For anyone who may be feeling burnt out, don’t feel guilty in taking a break or slowing down. No one will think less of you and that will give you the opportunity to live in the moment, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Add that your new year’s resolution list or take a page out of my brother’s book and set all of your clocks 15 minutes ahead. That way you’re never late and you always have a few extra minutes for yourself. That may be only fully formed thought my brother has come up with, but if it works then who am I to judge.
